Things that i want and things that God wants

there are times when i don't get things that i wanted most, in fact most of the times. be it academics, materials, money, events, friends, attention, appreciation and etc, i just don't get things according to the ways i wanted it to be.


sometimes i ask God, why?why i have worked so hard and yet my results are just the same? why i cared for a person so much, and yet he/she just don't seem to need it? why i can't get to spend some moments together with a friend or friends that are leaving? why they so "macho" that they just don't mind leaving for a long time? why people just don't show any commitments when they are assigned responsibilities? why the people just don't show much efforts in the things they are doing? why they are not taking any initiatives? why can't they be more detailed and serious? why can't they put in more efforts in planning the whole thing? why they just don't seem to care? and why they like last minute so much? the list continues...(i think if i write on then can compile a book already,haha....)

so many questions, and so many "why". i think God should ask us back, why do you want to know? or why do you want to interfere with my ways?

I think most of us know the answer already, and when things go wrong, we will always say this, that " His ways are higher than my ways" or "God has a purpose behind everything that happens". in fact it's true, but i just want to ask, when things go right, do we still say "God has a purpose behind everything that happens."?

haha...we always say "Oh God, have your way." or "God has a purpose for everything that happens, i have faith in You, Lord" at times of trials and tribulations or when things just don't go our ways. it seems like these two lines are just a chant to comfort our hearts and to console ourselves. or if from another perspective, we surrender to God(so it seems) when there's no other way, or after we have tried what we can do. this is what we always do, and "God's will and purpose" are always our last resort.

so here, the focus is ourselves. our hearts, i think in a way is not right in expressing these statements, or in fact covenants before God. is it really our will to let God have His ways? and let God's will be done on earth as it is done in heaven? or is it we are forced to surrender to God and ask God to have His ways when our ways are just not applicable anymore?

so, it has been my determination to let God decide in my life things that happen, i wish everything that happens is because of God's will. if my will just so happen to coincide with God's, praise God! if not, praise God even more cause i no need to worry so much. lol...

when things go wrong, yea, i feel bad, i feel sad, or angry, and lonely when just so many to contain inside. but thank God that He always reminds me through His little voice that, "Hey, I thought you said wanna let Me have my ways in your life? so have faith? I will never mistreat you!". When that rebuke comes in, the peace "sneak in", and yea, life is full of hope again. haha...

well, i'm also learning and struggling through. i stumble at times(my problem is, always know so much but always forget to practise it...lol), but my promise to God is, i will always stand up and be strong. By God's grace and power, i will rise. :)

God bless you all.